Subtle sexism in storytelling

Sexism isn’t always blatant and obvious – sometimes it’s so subtle that we don’t even really think about it. The unevenness between genders and how gender is presented is so ingrained that not only do we miss it, but sometimes as writers we perpetuate it.

It can be little things. Who gets to talk, and who listens? Who makes this happen, and who is on the sidelines? Who gets to be a fully actualized character? How much in-scene time do different genders get?

I made a list of ways these more subtle issues manifest.

Agency: Who makes things happen, and who has things happening to them?

Authorities: Who is in charge and who is subordinate? Who is a leader, and who is an assistant? Who is the genius, and who is the sidekick?

Bodies: Who gets to be fully dressed, and who is uncovered? Whose body is focused on during intimate scenes, and whose body is more hidden? Whose body is strong, and whose body is weak? Who looks, and who is looked at (within the world and by the audience)? Etc.

Centering men’s pain and trauma: A woman’s pain, suffering or death exists to spur on a man’s journey and growth; her pain exists to cause him pain so that he can grow from it, while she fades or is never really present in the narrative.

Centering men’s POV: Men’s ideas and ways of thinking are prioritized; if someone has to give in or compromise, it’s the woman. Cassandra syndrome – women warn of possible dangers, but are ignored.

Gendered descriptions / presentations: Men are rough and rugged; women are delicate and beautiful, non-binary folks are alien or otherwordly, transgender folks are othered…etc.

Men as default / the norm: The world is built around men’s time, attention, routines, desires, and conflicts; women are supporting characters, plot devices, or reactive presences. The world of the story is masculinized or set up to be ideal for men.

Non-binary as not quite human: Non-binary characters often showing up as aliens, shapeshifters, deities; being supernatural in some sense.

Non-binary as educator: The non-binary character exists to teach the cis characters something; their presence is informational.

Non-binary as trendy: Leaning into the recurring cultural stereotype that non-binary people are just teens trying to be trendy or get attention. Not presenting older non-binary characters.

Permanent coming out: This happens with non-binary and other queer characters; they have no narrative purpose beyond their pain, rejection, or identity conflict.

Reframing anger as honesty: Women being angry are presented as annoying or crazy; men’s anger is reframed as emotional honesty.

Reframing violence as necessary: It’s presented as unavoidable, as bravery, as problem-solving, as toughness or a side effect of masculinity.

Representation: Are there women present in the story in significant roles? Are those roles aligned with typical gender norms or are women present in a variety of spaces? Are women always feminine and men always masculine or are is the gender binary subverted in any way? Are there people present who are non-binary?

Transgender as educator/tokenism: Existing to teach the audience or other characters about trans identities rather than being fully actualized characters.

Transgender characters played by cisgender actors: This limits opportunities for trans actors and leads to portrayals that lack nuance or lean into stereotypes.

Transgender bodies as focus: Media tends to fixate on surgeries, hormones, before/after framing, sometimes at the expense of interiority and depth.

Transgender characters as victims: Trans people being reduced to the characters who must suffer violence or rejection. These types of stories can be important, but not when they’re the only stories or storylines available.

Transgender characters as villains: The transgender character is the villain or killer or otherwise presented negatively; transgender characters as duplicitous and deceitful; the “cisgender character tricked into sleeping with a transgender character” trope fits here.

Transnormativity: Depicting one “acceptable” form of trans identity – usually medical transition narratives, reinforcing the idea that physical transition is the “real” trans identity. This can also look like transition narratives that align with cisgender gender norms, reinforcing that you have to look and act a certain way to be valid.

Who gets to move: Men get action and movement. Women are waiting and observing.

Who gets to be unlikable: Men being unlikable is interpreted as complexity or trauma and doesn’t prevent them from taking on a heroic role; women who are unlikable are unsympathetic or an antagonist.

Women as the exception: Implying that a woman’s presence is notable because of her gender or is somehow symbolic rather than just presenting the space as naturally integrated.

Women as moral compass or helpers: Women are the measure of or encourage a man’s goodness or virtue. Women are mothers, therapists, best friends and attentive lovers – they nurture rather than challenge.

Women as props: A woman props up a man’s motivations, growth, power, emotions, etc. Women as actual props: tokens or trophies.

Women as tough/bitchy/demanding: “Strong” women being portrayed as demanding; these characters are often presented negatively, whereas a man being demanding can be seen as endearing. (I.e., The hard ass boss trope – if it’s a woman, she’s just a bitch. If it’s a man, deep down he probably has a heart of gold.)

Women talking to men: Women don’t or rarely talk to each other; they exist in the story primarily to interact with men. Men network with other men; women network with men, or don’t network at all.

Women as temptresses: A woman’s sensuality or sexuality is dangerous somehow; women’s source of power is sex/sexuality; women who openly desire are punished, while men to get to learn a lesson and be redeemed.

The small stuff matters. It reinforces stereotypes, impacts how we show up in the world, shapes how we interpret the world, and how we behave in our relationships. This is why writing responsibly is important.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t portray sexism in your writing – you absolutely should! But you should do it with intention. One of my WIPs had a character who is horrifically misogynist, and I wrote him that way deliberately. The women around him have different ways of dealing with him – and ultimately, that’s part of their journey and character arcs. It’s also clear when you read this story that this was a deliberate choice that I made.

Contrast that with a story I beta read once where every woman in the story was described in detail – even women who are background. A waitress who appears in one scene. A woman at a party who appears in one scene. Women jogging in a park. Yet by the end of the story, not a single one of the men had been described – not even the main character.

Look out for things like that in your own writing. Call it out in other media when it seems to be there unintentionally. The first step toward changing something problematic is being aware of how it shows up.