Grieving questions that can’t be asked

My late uncle was a Catholic priest and Holocaust scholar. I always knew that growing up; his work was a thing that always lurked over our family. He is one of the scholars who blew the lid off the fact that the Catholic Church was fully aware of that the Nazis were doing in the … Continue reading Grieving questions that can’t be asked

When the story never changes

One of the tragedies of adulthood is that you start to see, over time, that some of the people around you will never change. Because most people do change. Personality traits may be fixed, but they're not stagnant. They're like water - they drift in a certain direction over time, carrying you through your life, … Continue reading When the story never changes

Dealbreakers

One of the really beautiful things about being in your 40s is that is truly is the "idgaf" decade. Things that seemed important when you were younger suddenly aren't really important, and things you overlooked become appreciated. It's been a tumultuous year for personal relationships, and after therapy and soul-searching, I realized that at 45, … Continue reading Dealbreakers

The dark side of darkness

I love a moody setting. A moody aesthetic. I'm all for the dark side of romance. I like art with a side of "holy shit that's twisted." What I'm not into? When romantic darkness turns into real-life harm. In literature, for me, it's a line - it depends on how it's presented. I'm a fan … Continue reading The dark side of darkness

I will not be inconspicuous

I realize this is a privilege we don't all have. But I do, so I will be obvious. Fascism isn't hiding. Hate is proudly announcing itself and painting itself as righteous. Hate is going to come for a lot of people, and too many people who don't hate aren't doing much, if anything, to stop … Continue reading I will not be inconspicuous

Not sleeping is my new superpower

On a writing retreat, unable to sleep. The emotional scenes are always easier to write at 1am. There's nothing out here but wind, deer, and birds of prey screeching. And the wind comes out of nowhere - it'll be silent, then all of a sudden, a rush of wind that sounds a lot like the … Continue reading Not sleeping is my new superpower